It feels completely surreal that today would be the day that I would make a public proclamation to follow Jesus. But I wanted to show the world that yes, I’ve chosen this lifestyle for the rest of my life.
I’ve declared Jesus in my life for a while now, but never got baptized. And why is that? Frankly it was because I felt that there needed to be a special moment. But my decision to get baptized was completely last minute.
After graduating from college, I felt like I had encountered uncharted territory. Like knowing that I had time was completely uncalled for. Like I didn’t know what that was. Like what, I can bingewatch all these episodes? Read the books that I’ve been wanting to? Pick up that hobby?
Being in school for so long programmed me to also be on the go-go, to stay busy, to always be thinking ahead, to have schedules. I had to reframe my mindset and learn how to be present. That was something that I always struggled with.
Post-grad life really taught me to be intentional with myself. With all this time now placed in my hands, came with times of reflection, process, purpose. It was listening to my inner, deepest desires and hopes and dreams for myself. And what I needed in times of aloneness, solitude, fellowship, family.
I carried a lot of shame and guilt when deciding to move home after a summer in Seattle. As much as I was celebrating the job offers, internships, and opportunities that my peers had, I was also wondering if I could ever experience that.
So choosing to get baptized was yes, last minute, but if not now, then when? It was also to show God to erase all the uncertainties and my own personal future plans and chose the path that He has set out for me. It‘s leaving the past behind: the guilt, shame, jealousy, negative thoughts, doubt, uncertainty. All of it.
I know that everything happens for a reason. And that everyone experiences life milestones in a different pace. I’m currently in no rush anymore, for I know that my future is in the right hands.
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