When it comes to post-grad season, there's a lot of highs and lows that occur during this transition. I never realized that after graduation, that a silent goodbye seems to occur without permission. It never hit me that the people who I would see in class, greet in passing, lead and serve SPU with, will all of a sudden not be a part of my life. I didn't know that I was going to be torn away from that part of my life. I had been stripped away from the world that I created in college. So my friend, here's a letter to you..."
Dear amazing, one-of-a-kind you,
THANK YOU.
I never got to say thank you after I walked across that stage. Thank you for an amazing 4 years of college. And whatever interaction, small or big, you've touched my life in immense ways that you might not have known.
Post-college, I have never experienced this much anxiety in my life. I'm stressed, overwhelmed, scared, ashamed. I struggle with trying not to compare my own success with the success of my peers. I love celebrating your success and achievements post-graduation, but give me grace when it comes to asking what I'm up to. I can't help but wish that I could have what you have but I know that there's something good for me. Everyone is going through different seasons at different times. There's so much I need to work in myself, that not only is this a season of transition, it's also been a season of reflection.
I just wanted to let you know that I'm doing alright. As much as I miss the big Emerald City, I'm incredibly thankful for my parents in letting me move back home. At this point of my life, moving home and being with my family seemed like the right thing to do. I gotta save money, support my two sisters (one with her transition to post-high school life and the other a second year in college), be there for my parents and Milo, and just be fully intentional with myself.
I've gotten plugged into a new church in my city. From changing from a church that my family and I went to for 12 years, my family and I fully dived into this new church. I've joined a life group full of young adults like me and I am on my way to possibly becoming a youth leader there. (Maybe even join the worship team, who knows?) I've meet incredible people in this church, that they have been nothing but supportive and welcoming.
I can say now that I'm enjoying the job I got recently. From being a former military dependent, I've moved to being a civilian. I got a job as a Kindergarten teacher for military families. It's something that is very close to my heart because I know exactly the hardships and struggles entailed with being a military child. And I know that this isn't a job that I see doing for the rest of my life, but I know that this job is will equip me with important skills and experiences.
The dream of traveling and moving abroad is still there. I have so many dreams and ideas that I want to make happen. With college out of my mind, I can fully think about what my next steps are, while also learning how to be fully present in the midst of it all. I'm learning how to be content with not having everything together. To trust in the process and have both my hands open for God to work through in. Cause who knows what the heck God has in store for me for the next years to come? But I'm excited!
It's been said that the relationships you make in college become the friends that you have for life. And I 110% believe that. I started out college worrying if I would make friends, and I am incredibly in awe of the impact people have left in me when I graduated.
Words cannot say how much I miss being around you.
I miss hearing your voice, laughing with you, the hugs, the conversations, and constant words of affirmation.
I miss the last minute runs, the late night food trips, study sessions, coffee dates.
I'm sorry that I haven't reached out to check in and see how you are doing. I know that post-graduation depression is such a real thing. But know that if you are also feeling this way, know that you are not alone in this season. Lean into others, check in, and pour into things that give you life.
I'm sorry that it must feel like we are not friends anymore, but don't let distance determine that. As cheesy as it may sound, distance does make the heart grow fonder. And it lets me think about you and all the memories we've made.
Know that I am always thinking of you. I'm cheering and supporting you from the sidelines. And when the time comes, I look forward to crossing paths with you again. Thank you for loving me, for creating a space where I could fully be myself and accepting all of me.
- Jireh
Comments