I turned 22 today! What an honor to celebrate my birthday alongside International Women's Day! This blog post are 22 things that I've learned at the age 22 and I hope that it serves as reminders for you lovely womxn out there!
1. Don't, "wait for life to happen."
- If you have that mindset, then you will just keep waiting. Dream big yes, but your dreams won't happen unless you take action. Opportunities will only reveal itself if you put yourself out there and reach your goals. Nothing good happens if you are just sitting around.
2. It's okay to say no sometimes.
- Girl, I had to learn this the hard way. Being such a people pleaser with a hard case of FOMO (fear of missing out), it was so hard to say no to things. Overtime, it took a toll on me: mentally, physically, financially, academically and everything in between. It's so essential to listen to what your own self needs at the moment!
3. Some friends become family, and some friends go.
- There is always a reason God has placed certain people in your life. They are either a life lesson or a life giver. There will be people who will stick by you, and others who aren't. It may hurt at first, but that's part of life. People move and people change and you sometimes can't do anything about it.
4. Always listen to your mother, she is ALWAYS right.
- Fun fact, my mama and I share the same birthday! So I wouldn't be in this world without her! Happy birthday Ma! But also, listen to your parents, you can learn a lot from them. Watching your parents get older is one of the hardest things and it won’t get easier. Love them for all they’ve done/do for you and treat them as much as you can.
5. You become the people you spend the most time with.
- Your habits, the way you present yourself, the way you talk, act and treat others are mostly based on the people you hang out with. It's important to surround yourself with people you strive to be.
6. It's okay to change your mind, and then change it again.
- We aren't born to live stagnant. I learned that life is more of a jungle gym, rather than a ladder (thank you Sheryl Sandberg!). During my first year of college, I changed my major so many times and just recently changed my future endeavors this past quarter. At first, I felt like I needed to have it all figured out, and some people do, but know that it's okay to explore different possibilities. Try things you never saw yourself doing. Experience things you haven't done before.
7. Have mentors in your life.
- You need to find people in your life that will provide you the knowledge and skills to thrive in life. Find those people that you can learn from. I've been thankful for the many mentors who have shaped me into the person that I am today.
8. Be present.
- In an advancing and fast forward society, it can be so hard to be still. Learn to live in the moment and take moments of gratitude within it. Your future self with thank you.
9. "Kill them with kindness."
- And I don't mean be fake around people. What I mean by this quote is to not feed off people's plan to get a reaction out of you. Unkind people don't deserve that kind of attention. Kindness goes a long way.
10. Perfection is unachievable (unless you're God).
- We were created to be unique and different. Imagine a world where everyone was the same... boring right?
11. Have a learner mind-set.
- To be blunt, don't be ignorant. Always find ways to learn about the world around you. There's more to life that the bubble we surround ourselves with. Be comfortable with the uncomfortable because that's the only way you will grow.
12. Don't let others take advantage of you.
- Always know what your limits are. Don't waste your time and energy on people who only want you for certain reasons.
13. Apologize less and say "thank you" more.
- By saying sorry all the time, you kinda make it more about yourself. But by saying thank you, you acknowledge the other party for taking their time and energy for you. Have an attitude of gratitude.
14. Save your money!
- I put a portion of my paycheck into my savings account. I'd rather save up for experiences rather than immediate, materialistic things. Also, you never know what happens in the future, so it's best to be prepared.
15. Don't dwell the past.
- Your past, your actions, your decisions do not define who you are. We are constantly evolving and growing in life. There's better things to look forward to rather than spending unnecessary energy on our past.
16. Love yourself.
- It's easy to say, but hard to do. I struggle with this a lot. But learning to love yourself is so essential. Stop comparing yourself others because it's unhealthy.
17. Don't follow society's, "social clock."
- I see people around me who are dating, getting married, having kids, establishing their careers etc. and always wondered why that's not happening to me. But I now realize that I am not ready for that and that's okay. Don't feel pressured to do what other people are doing. Everyone is ready for the next move at some point of their life. Don't rush into things friend!
18. Build Resilience.
- Let it sink in that life is not going to get easier as we get older. Learn how to build resilience: the ability to pick yourself back up from downfalls.
19. You reap what you sow.
- The amount of time, energy, and love you pour into something will determine what outcome you receive back. I realize the seeds that I have sown, has reaped benefits in the end. Do good and good will follow you. If you want to be successful, you have to put in the work for it.
20. Actions speak louder than words.
- People will judge you for your actions. Learn to walk the talk and lead by example. I found myself telling others what to do, yet I don't do it myself. I'm learning to lead by example and not be a hypocrite.
21. You are not for everyone.
- As a continuous people pleaser, I've always tried to go many lengths to get people to like me. But in the end, there will be people who will point blank not like you. But know that there will be people who will love you fiercely. Hold on to those dear people who have shaped you, cried and laughed with you, comforted you, and accepted you.
22. Never underestimate the power of God.
- How cool is it knowing that God created us to be moldable? He has to power to stretch, shape, change and form us in different ways? God has stretched me in ways that I thought we're not possible. In the times where I had a lot of hate in my heart, resented a lot of people, and felt lonely, God provided peace and understanding. Little by little, He continues to unveil the goodness and the plans He has for me. Philippians 1:9-11
So here's to 22 and birthdays and womxn empowerment! Cheers!
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